Steel Magnolias - Gordon Style

Let me take you back to 1989. The movie "Steel Magnolias" has many awesome parts mostly centered around women and their bond through family and friendship but one hilarious part (that I never thought I'd be living in real life) is when M'Lynn (Sally Field) and her husband Drum (Tom Skeritt) are setting up for Shelby's (Julia Roberts) outdoor wedding. Drum is obsessed with the birds in the trees and gets his gun and starts shooting at the birds shortly before the wedding. It's a much funnier scene to watch than my recap of it. But you get the idea...so here's the "Gordon Style".

Unlike M'Lynn...I know where my husband's BB Gun is and I haven't admitted it. We have birds that have taken a liking to our house...first the tall entry way on the front porch and now the turbine on the top of the house. I don't notice the chirping very often but apparently it is annoying the hell out of my husband. He wants to find his BB Gun and shoot at the freakin birds. I can think of so many things going wrong here. He could break a window (on our house or the neighbors), he could fall off the roof and shoot himself...so many horrible possibilities. The most likely being that he would shoot at the birds...perhaps hit one, not kill it but injure it. Then we'd have an injured bird in our yard. It didn't do anything to the overall bird "problem" but now we have a half dead bird to deal with. So...to avoid all of these scenarios I don't admit or deny that I know where the BB Gun is.

Is that bad?

"...Not Cool Mom"

I am quickly learning how serious the life of a 5 year old and 3 year old are. There are some "big deals" in their little lives and somehow I've managed to upset them multiple times this week (and yes it's only Wednesday) by not understanding.

This week my 5 year old was going on a field trip to a strawberry farm. The weather had dropped enough that warmer clothes were needed. Not to mention the fact that her legs look like she's a soccer player who doesn't wear pads (she plays non-stop and doesn't even notice when she gets a new bruise). I wanted to keep her warm, bug bite free and injury free...so I put her in jeans (skirts are the favorite and almost exclusive wardrobe). J-E-A-N-S?!?!?! Wow...how could I do that?! According to her, not only are they not girly but they are not bendy either.

For the one millionth time that day my 3 year old asked me to "play with him". That's what I do...when I need a break I throw a load of laundry in, do the dishes or take a grandparent to a doctor's appointment. Outside of that...I play with him. This particular time...I didn't jump to "play with him"...I grabbed a pillow from the couch and laid my head on it...to which he responded..."not cool Mom".

And as all of you know kids (and men) think anything about "tooting" or "pooping" is hilarious. My kids are no exception. So my daughter's tummy was making noises and I told her she was digesting her food. She asked what digesting meant. I told her that after she eats her tummy digests food which means it takes all the good parts out of the food to help her grow and be healthy and then it takes all the left over or not good parts and her body gets rid of it. Of course she asks me how...and I tell her it comes out in poop (which of course makes her laugh until she's crying she thinks it SO funny). Fast forward a few days...and at the dinner table we're finished eating and she asks to be excused. She says with the biggest grin on her face...my tummy is digesting and the food is turning brown and I have to poop out the corn. The American Corn (she says thru constant laughter). I asked her what "American Corn" was (and please note we didn't even have corn for dinner). She said...you know corn grown in America. Only people from American can eat this corn. Excuse me while I go digest.

There are so many funny things that are said and done in my family I couldn't possibly write about them all. And they are so good I couldn't make up stories this great. And while I try not to laugh when my kids say or do something that might be considered inappropriate...it's very hard because sometimes it's just so dang funny! These little people that we are given for such a short time are brilliant! They are full of life, learning and love...and they're honest. They say how they feel and I love that! We could all take a lesson from them...play hard, be real and continue loving until it's "...not cool Mom".